Passionate Ambivalence

Summer semester was very nearly over, finally. It was an optional review day that the TAs were supposed to be running on their own and Viren was having a hard time convincing himself he really needed to be there, let alone on time. Claudia was finally over the worst of her sore throat but still miserable, and she had been home from camp half the week, leaving him scrambling for childcare options, plus waking in the night whimpering in pain and requiring more medicine.

He wasn't early like usual, so the customary parking spaces weren't available. Viren cursed as he drove farther from his building hunting for a spot. He drove past the daycare and decided to try there since most of the students and faculty were gone until fall. Technically you were supposed to be using the daycare to park there, but it was worth the risk. He was double-checking his laptop accessories when he heard a commotion that activated the long-dormant Distraught Toddler Alert in his brain.

"Mama mama mama no mama noooo!!!"

"I know you miss her pumpkin, but today you're going to play with the school friends."

"I'll be there too, Ez. You like the playground, remember? And the snacks..."

"No school! No no no school daddy noooo..." The child escalated to that particular soul-rattling whine-cry Viren would very much like to never, ever hear again, and there was the sound of objects hitting the concrete, followed by ragged not-quite-swearing.

"Would you like a hand? I have, um... two." Viren holds one out to the stranger, who doesn't have any free to shake. "Dr. Viren, bioengineering, been here a long time."

"Dr. Harrow, history, just starting today. This is Ezran, and that's Callum." Callum nodded gravely, clutching a decorated coffee can filled with art supplies.

Viren smiled and held out his free arm so Harrow could hand him some of the bags he was juggling, but Ezran lurched suddenly, so Viren grabbed him instead. I knocked him off balance slightly, so he leaned on the van, but even that felt comfortably familiar. At least this kid wasn't pulling his hair.

Harrow picked up the last few items, stuffed them in the tote labelled "water fun," and traded it for Ezran. Viren took another bag, and Callum took the last one, and they made their way in. Harrow hugged the boys goodbye before they were taken to their classrooms, and Viren walked him out.

Blinking in the sunlight he seemed calmer, less frazzled but more sad.

"Thank you, Viren. Some moments are just..."

"Believe me, I remember."

"Did your wife leave, too?"

"...no... There's a coffee shop down the hill. Can I buy you something? You can tell me all the ways your life is shit if that helps."

Harrow was happy to go, but when Viren tried to pay, he shook his head and covered the bill.

"Money is never a problem. My mom runs this place."

Viren stared at him. The resemblance was clear, now that he was looking for it. "Chancellor Octavia is your mother?" He rubbed his neck nervously. "We ah... we've had some differences of opinion..."

Harrow waved him to a bench as their drinks were delivered. "Let me guess, she chewed you out in vile language that doesn't use any actual profanity."

Viren recalled the recent event where she'd demanded he 'Take a break from publicly fellating the military industrial complex' to answer alumni questions.

"Yes. That."

Harrow smirked, visibly reviving as he inhaled the coffee.

Viren called the department secretary and told her he wouldn't be in all day. Yes, another urgent personal matter, but the kids were fine. Yes, he did have a tiny sliver of non-child-related life. Yes, he knew he was lucky to be unique and brilliant and well-funded.

"And hot!" That would be Silvis, yelling, as he headed off to cover the class alone.

Viren sighed.

"That's something you have to get used to in this job: students who want to get into your pants. Most of them don't want to actually try, but they sit in the front row and moon over you, or they come to office hours and ask about things they already know, or they sign up for every. single. one. of your classes even if it means they're in school for an extra year."

"I do have some experience turning people down gently."

"I guess you would, handsome bastard that you are."

"Can't say I've felt that way lately."

Viren waved a dismissive hand.

"Nonsense. You are extremely handsome for a zombie who smells like rancid apple juice."

That made Harrow laugh. The warm sound of it, and they way he seemed brighter, happier, and more whole afterward, left Viren feeling absurdly proud, as though it could be worth dedicating his life to repeat performances.