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lonesparkFor me, one of the worst things about depression is the inability to grok certain words and concepts. I can still know them, even understand them in a certain limited sense. But I don't...feel/live/comprehend them. You know, grok.
Anyway, concepts like "low energy" and "anhedonia." And for me anhedonia means not the absence of joy, but the loss of contentment, and most importantly, of satisfaction. It's extremely difficult to summon the energy to complete tasks (even begin them...ok, especially begin them...and complete them...if the middle bit is slightly easier it's still not a walk in the park...) and there's not payoff, because there's no satisfaction for a job well/adequately done. At all.
Other things can take the place of that, though. Money to spend on things to bring me joy is the easiest. And also other people's appreciation. Especially kids.
Anyway, concepts like "low energy" and "anhedonia." And for me anhedonia means not the absence of joy, but the loss of contentment, and most importantly, of satisfaction. It's extremely difficult to summon the energy to complete tasks (even begin them...ok, especially begin them...and complete them...if the middle bit is slightly easier it's still not a walk in the park...) and there's not payoff, because there's no satisfaction for a job well/adequately done. At all.
Other things can take the place of that, though. Money to spend on things to bring me joy is the easiest. And also other people's appreciation. Especially kids.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-08 04:40 pm (UTC)