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lonesparkDear friends and noodles, please indulge me in some venting/talk me off this cliff/out of this hole.
Last night I went to play pick-up soccer. I was alone with the kids and I showed up late and didn't change out of my potentially controversial political shirt (that I wear to church!) because it was one of those "Don't go back for the cellphone - we've GONE TOO FAR!" "Don't screw with the momentum/activation energy" things. We were finally getting out the door. Go us!
I got the shirt for free from some UU activists in Phoenix. (Well, I think they were really from CA? But they were in Phoenix, marching against one or more awful things Sheriff Arpaio was up to. Possibly in 2009? My memory is hazy...) The shirt has a picture of Christopher Columbus on it, and it says, "Show me your papers, Christopher, Columbus!"
I tried to find the image online, but I couldn't. I did find these, which are cool:
So anyway, randomly wearing shirt. With a yellow mesh penny over it, to indicate which team I'm on. And during a water break somebody asks what it means, and does it have to do with Obama. And I said no, I'm from Arizona, and it has to do with Sheriff Arpaio and SB-1070 (which I just typed as "BS-1070," which is kind of awesome.)
And this evolved into a discussion/argument about undocumented immigrants and whether "reasonably suspicious" people having to show their papers is ok. The organizer of the game/league/whatever/soccer thing was the main person; I can't remember if she asked about the shirt in the first place. It was kind of like talking to a racial profiling bingo card, ("I'm ok with being stopped and asked for my license!" "It doesn't matter if this creates a climate of fear and distrust of police, because ILLEGAL!" "...something about Irish immigration and crime..." "I have Vietnamese friends and they waited a long time under bad conditions to come here legally (as refugees, I assume.)" "Drug cartels! A lot of those violent drug criminals are in the country illegally..."
So much WTF. I may have referred to Sheriff Arpaio as a "fascist dick." I may have got sucked into "...yeah, well, my parents worked in refugee camps and my uncle was an unnaccompanied minor who fled conscription in Vietnam," (or something, I don't know the whole story and he's not legally my uncle, so yeah, I too am a stupid privileged bingo card...) I was kind of trying to get into the kind of political discussion I really enjoy, about details of what works and what doesn't, like, how could we institute some kind of universal ID law that was really fair and not racist, or how could we be more fair and just and forward-thinking about our immigration policy and the way it relates to our labor standards. But that didn't seem to work, largely because I felt like people were telling my experience and feelings didn't count...
And then this happened:
Organizer lady says, "It's like people complaining about police stopping or arresting black kids. They're the ones killing each other! Not the Chinese kids! They're going to college!"
I was kinda shocked and kinda just stood there with my mouth open for a couple of seconds. And I probably should of just gone with that, into, "Did you really seriously just say that?" or something, but instead I yelled "That's Bullshit!!!" and started crying. (And I am crying now, typing this, and I cry when I think about what happened and what I should do next...)
And this exchange was happening right when the break ended and it was time to go back on the field for the next quarter, but I couldn't. I couldn't just let it drop, but I couldn't go further because that's not what we're here for. Somebody else said, "Leave the politics off the field," which, yeah, except
1. Barn door, horse, etc.
2. I didn't feel like this was a political discussion anymore, if it ever was. I don't know it was, though. Just fucking bigotry for no apparent reason? I couldn't believe how much of a hostile environment it felt like, to privileged white me, and knowing that, what could we do to have it not be a horribly bad idea for WOC to attend. (There was one woman there who might identify as POC, or not, I don't know her ethnicity, she's kinda brown... There are a couple other dark-skinned folks in the more-official rec league a lot of us play in...)
3. I felt like if I just went ahead like nothing happened, it would be letting that attitude stand...and I couldn't anyway, I was too upset... I still feel like that. I don't know how move on like an adult, apologize to some extent if necessary, but make it clear that what was said was NOT OK.
So, um.
Advice? General comments?
Last night I went to play pick-up soccer. I was alone with the kids and I showed up late and didn't change out of my potentially controversial political shirt (that I wear to church!) because it was one of those "Don't go back for the cellphone - we've GONE TOO FAR!" "Don't screw with the momentum/activation energy" things. We were finally getting out the door. Go us!
I got the shirt for free from some UU activists in Phoenix. (Well, I think they were really from CA? But they were in Phoenix, marching against one or more awful things Sheriff Arpaio was up to. Possibly in 2009? My memory is hazy...) The shirt has a picture of Christopher Columbus on it, and it says, "Show me your papers, Christopher, Columbus!"
I tried to find the image online, but I couldn't. I did find these, which are cool:
So anyway, randomly wearing shirt. With a yellow mesh penny over it, to indicate which team I'm on. And during a water break somebody asks what it means, and does it have to do with Obama. And I said no, I'm from Arizona, and it has to do with Sheriff Arpaio and SB-1070 (which I just typed as "BS-1070," which is kind of awesome.)
And this evolved into a discussion/argument about undocumented immigrants and whether "reasonably suspicious" people having to show their papers is ok. The organizer of the game/league/whatever/soccer thing was the main person; I can't remember if she asked about the shirt in the first place. It was kind of like talking to a racial profiling bingo card, ("I'm ok with being stopped and asked for my license!" "It doesn't matter if this creates a climate of fear and distrust of police, because ILLEGAL!" "...something about Irish immigration and crime..." "I have Vietnamese friends and they waited a long time under bad conditions to come here legally (as refugees, I assume.)" "Drug cartels! A lot of those violent drug criminals are in the country illegally..."
So much WTF. I may have referred to Sheriff Arpaio as a "fascist dick." I may have got sucked into "...yeah, well, my parents worked in refugee camps and my uncle was an unnaccompanied minor who fled conscription in Vietnam," (or something, I don't know the whole story and he's not legally my uncle, so yeah, I too am a stupid privileged bingo card...) I was kind of trying to get into the kind of political discussion I really enjoy, about details of what works and what doesn't, like, how could we institute some kind of universal ID law that was really fair and not racist, or how could we be more fair and just and forward-thinking about our immigration policy and the way it relates to our labor standards. But that didn't seem to work, largely because I felt like people were telling my experience and feelings didn't count...
And then this happened:
Organizer lady says, "It's like people complaining about police stopping or arresting black kids. They're the ones killing each other! Not the Chinese kids! They're going to college!"
I was kinda shocked and kinda just stood there with my mouth open for a couple of seconds. And I probably should of just gone with that, into, "Did you really seriously just say that?" or something, but instead I yelled "That's Bullshit!!!" and started crying. (And I am crying now, typing this, and I cry when I think about what happened and what I should do next...)
And this exchange was happening right when the break ended and it was time to go back on the field for the next quarter, but I couldn't. I couldn't just let it drop, but I couldn't go further because that's not what we're here for. Somebody else said, "Leave the politics off the field," which, yeah, except
1. Barn door, horse, etc.
2. I didn't feel like this was a political discussion anymore, if it ever was. I don't know it was, though. Just fucking bigotry for no apparent reason? I couldn't believe how much of a hostile environment it felt like, to privileged white me, and knowing that, what could we do to have it not be a horribly bad idea for WOC to attend. (There was one woman there who might identify as POC, or not, I don't know her ethnicity, she's kinda brown... There are a couple other dark-skinned folks in the more-official rec league a lot of us play in...)
3. I felt like if I just went ahead like nothing happened, it would be letting that attitude stand...and I couldn't anyway, I was too upset... I still feel like that. I don't know how move on like an adult, apologize to some extent if necessary, but make it clear that what was said was NOT OK.
So, um.
Advice? General comments?
no subject
Date: 2012-07-18 04:28 pm (UTC)Another possibility might be to try to always being the discussion back to the happy spot where productive happens by pointing out what sort of origins those statements have and the need to do more research and realize the world is more complex?
It sounds like there's going to be a lot of 101 involved here, so having some handouts might help, too.
Lot of work, though. Might also be enough to be armed with statistics disproving whatever statement its being made.