lonespark: (Default)
2017-10-03 08:55 am

You do not have to feel this much to ride


Yeah, this
It's good to like yourself, as much as you can
There are people who will tell you that's not true, it's prideful and selfish and bad
And so many more people and aspects of society screaming and whispering that certain people aren't worthy, not just as they are

That's all very, very wrong

If you can like yourself, love yourself, it's good, and it can often help give and especially receive love from others,
but so can lots of things
that relate to health and wellbeing and safety and freedom...

lonespark: (Default)
2017-09-04 08:04 pm


Hail to the Earth as she turns
As she endures the ages
Never still, always steadfast
Always broken, always strong
Hail to the Earth as she turns
As she nurtures life

Hail to the Moon as he shines
As he changes
Ever dancing, ever dreaming
Showing many faces
Keeping his truest self
Hail to the holy dark and light
lonespark: Reboot Uhura pwning the world (Uhura)
2017-08-26 12:09 am

Books I read this year

Books I read this year
(a non-comprehensive list in something like reverse chronological order...)
Climbing the Date Palm by Shira Glassman
The Jumbies by Tracey Baptiste
Believe Me by Eddie Izzard
The Killing Moon & The Shadowed Sun by N. K. Jemisin
Abegoni: First Calling by Charles Saunders
Everfair by Nisi Shawl
The City: A Cyberfunk Anthology edited by Milton Davis
To Find You by Cerece Rennie Murphy
Thoughts in Italics by Kenny Rogers Jr.
Changa's Safari vol. 1-3 by Milton Davis
Agents of the Realm vol. 1 by Mildred Louis (graphic novel)
Gardening With Herbs for Flavor and Fragrance
by Helen Morgethau Fox

That gets me back to January and maybe further...
I also read a bunch of comics...
lonespark: (Default)
2017-08-13 10:21 pm

Vicious cycle:

Upper classes extremely racist, have power to enact & maintain white supremacist structures & systems.

Racial hatred , segregation, etc. therefore becomes part of economic aspiration for people who pass as White Enough.

Certain segments of upper classes then get to deflect a lot of responsibility onto people who aren't well enough integrated into the systems white supremacist power to cloak their race antagonism in meritocracy or similar BS.

It works with ableism too, and transphobia/queerphobia...

White supremacy is inherently ableist, violently cisheteronormative, misogynistic, etc...

And capitalism is too, and they are largely the same monster...

But it still took me a looong time to work how very much the ideas of "success" in my USian culture is tied to racism.

Part of it is the fact that I grew up surrounded by people who eagerly befriended the educated, culturally compatible "good ones" and cared deeply about helping "the less fortunate." They didn't want to be assholes or racists, and they definitely didn't equate wealth with morality or success...*

But the whole idea of settling down for stability and having kids in your good Blue Marriage** ended up meaning not raising those kids in the kind of diverse environment they had sought out and enjoyed and valued. Like, my parents went to work in places that look like America, where the people and issues everyone needs to have familiarity and some understanding of to try being a decent citizen are everywhere all the time...

Then they came home to this sealed-up freakish Whiteland. (And I've done even worse by my kids on that front, tho the place is a tiny bit better and some other kinds of diversity shake out differently...)

*They kind of went some opposite ways I'll try to address some time...

**Also a post subject, I hope
lonespark: Suki in Kyoshi Warrior garb with two fans (Suki)
2017-08-01 02:58 pm

Article stlil funny/infuriating/well-illustrated/high in nutritious theramin references...


"She did not choose to be [member of oppressed group], and therefore her suffering is thrust upon by no choice of her own. I, on the other hand, chose this mountainous burden voluntarily, and I struggle with it every day without complaint."

How very, very much in life do I catch myself thinking this?

Or its insidious sibling, "This is problem is worse when I have it because I'm [member of privileged group]!

lonespark: (Default)
2017-07-13 09:31 am

Same old shit

The Black Person’s Guide to Game of Thrones

Sharing mostly for this quote:
"The show is about white-on-white violence. The show is about a turf war between different gangs who want to win the ultimate prize..."

I want to make a list of things this describes, but it would go on forever.

Most of Shakespeare
Arthurian things that aren't, like, The Knights of Breton Court
Way too much fantasy.*
Every superhero movie so far**

*I was going to say "Fantasy not written for children," but this also describes way too much of that.

**With extra-special notice to F***ing Civil War, ecccchhhh. "Some white assholes (USian, obvs) get their Black Friends and some Token Women involved in a massive pissing contest..."
(I guess it might not apply to some things. Like, I have yet to see Meteor Man...)
lonespark: Reboot Uhura pwning the world (Uhura)
2017-07-11 10:42 am

Science Fiction Can't Have Nice Things

This article was shared in the State of Black Science Fiction Facebook Group.


By a scientist.

The subject is of interest. But...

As much as fantasy and scifi have always been my favorite art...
as much as science is exciting and important in my life...
as much as watching The Martian felt like hanging out with college friends...

I tend to avoid things associated with "The SF community" because there are so many people who seem convinced a great voice/tone to go with is "Heinlein at his most aggressively unenlightened." Or something.

I prefer discussions of science that engage on some level with its history as a tool of white supremacy, and the effects that has on the way different cultures engage with science and with things mainstream culture decides to call "science..."

Not every article everywhere has to do that.

If you can't be bothered to avoid a gratuitous, casual, lynching reference?
Fuck you.
You are part of all the problems.
You are the reason speculative fiction can't have nice things.
All of you.

(All of us?)

lonespark: (Default)
2017-06-16 12:16 pm

Radom work thoughts

Finished The City. (Cyberfunk dystopian funtimes! http://mvmediaatl.com/the-city.html) Didn't bring another book (or my lunch...or...).

It turns out I can use the computer system here because they have a guest logon! Wheeee!!!

Except in the classroom I'm actually assigned to, because all the computers are for students. Woe. (Using it now because there's no class during this lunch break...)

But this dude has a copy of Feminist Science Teaching, which seems pretty rad, so I am reading it and want to get a copy to read more. I want to take notes but I didn't bring any paper and can't find any.

Students have to read an article about ethical implications of marketing human genetic selection.

Personally I think if we end the world it'll be by fucking with the genomes of insects or maybe plants. Hell, we've already ended some worlds that way...

Not that there aren't plenty of shitty things capitalism and racism and whatnot can do with human genetic manipulation. They just don't seem significantly different to me from things horrible things we've already been doing with medicine and technology for centuries?

And cultural systems like racism are technologies too... "Science" too, obvs, as discussed in the book...
lonespark: (Default)
2017-06-10 04:35 pm

Vaguely related to having seen Wonder Woman (and also the Black Panther trailer?)

I would watch a whole series of Amazons Doin' Things.

I should probably rewatch Xena?

I am strongly in favor of more archers vs. guns, etc.
Different tech and different tactics and fighting styles.

And I'm not against more magical guns. That was used to good effect in The Knights of Breton Court, (tho not the cover art?) and it makes sense and doesn't get used enough.

Guns aren't that great when you run out of bullets.

Guns aren't that great if sand and mud fuck them up.

For a long time guns weren't very accurate.

The guns vs. arrows and using what you can get well points were made well in Suriyothai, with bonus war elephants and bonus awesome everything gahhhh I need more movies like that and a new copy cuz I only had it on VHS.

But anyway, stories that take place in that long span of time are interesting.

I think Changa's Safari does? Anyway it's super awesome and you should all read it and it needs to be a bunch of movies or a TV series.

Superhero movies do magic swords and you-call-it-magic-we-call-it-science spears etc. Non-magic other kinds of weapons in modern times are good too.

Sticks are good.

Does no one have a magical baseball bat?
lonespark: (Default)
2017-06-02 09:26 pm

The Other Side of the Ragnarok?


I have really liked this song for a while, but today I was randomly struck by the thought that the narrator is dallying with some Odin-bothered person or possibly Vegtam hirself.

Like, ravens and wolves calling your name?
Tales of bloody fates?
No simple friendship or love?

IDK; my brain on this *&%@! virus...
lonespark: Suki in Kyoshi Warrior garb with two fans (Suki)
2017-05-22 09:11 am


I find myself wishing American Gods weren't so full of disturbing violence so my kids could see it...
...or moreso that there was another show kind of like it we could watch...
Because it's so vanishingly rare to see respectful* depictions of gods, and faithful people, in the context of pagan or traditional religions.

Maybe sometimes on shows with like, cartoon frogs?
But I can't think of another example on a live-action show.
Granted I don't watch much TV...
Even the movie examples I can think of are all cartoons, largely Disney, with lots of other issues...

*I don't feel a lot of the depictions are that respectful, but somehow the way things are presented in the world has a basic honoring these things as true and meaningful. Especially the people who are depicted interacting with the gods. So far...
lonespark: (Default)
2017-05-21 01:17 pm

American Gods Ep 4









(and feelz...)


In summary of this episode:

The Audrey and Laura Show is snarky complex woman character goodness.


Getting there hurt, personally.
I wanted to kill Shadow when he told her to wait.
There's no right answer.
You cannot promise to be someone in a life you can't plan.
Plus, when your true love wants to come to the underworld with you, you're supposed to say yes.

But I do like Laura, painful empathy aside.
And I like her style:
Fuck nuance. Punch enemies. Figure shit out as you go.
Luthien sang but Laura (which means something in Latin, I should look it up...) doesn't need finesse.
And she's not the god, so...

Draugr lore seems relevant here.
When you have business left to settle,
may something about you be too ornery to die.

I hope Audrey keeps doing stuff and/or we get a bunch more woman characters.
The book was quite weak on that, as I can't stop remembering.
And very especially on woman characters who do stuff together...

No Coming To America?!? Booo!!!

He's the light of all our lives, tho, Laura.
For some stuff you gotta share.
A warm light for all mankind.
Hidden away in every box and tomb and curse.

Ok but srsly the relationship issues and dialogue.

I have pretty much said the thing about living in a cardboard box a few times
To people who needed something much different from life but still kept begging me to wait
to hold it down and make it work
as if that's something you can just decide to do, to be...
And also to people who seem to have nothing to lose
but are still too connected to something old and rotten but deeply rooted...

Also I want moar scrapbooking magic.
lonespark: Cassidy from "Far Beyond the Stars" (Cassidy Yates)
2017-05-14 10:24 am

American Gods Ep3

Spoilerish if you haven't read the book and possibly a little if you have?

I feel like the show is really hitting its stride with this episode?

Me watching:

- Happy-cries at the Coming to America segment.

- Gets confused/intrigued about suns and moons and sons and...

- Has All the Feelz* at the ifrit part because it was one of my top 3 most beloved bits in the book and it was perfect

But why wasn't Mexican Jesus here already and had the border cross him?!?

I want MCU!Quill and Shadow to meet up at a bar and bond over how their dads are 100% dicks.**

But srsly all that stuff about how Jesus had to suffer for other people but u shouldn't blame his parent?!?

And, like, I have been trying to write a post about...IDK, lots of Heathen stuff and racism and The Enduring Cosmic Importance of Shadow's Mom*** but it hasn't been going very well. There is too much; I cannot sum up. I hope we get to see Shadow's mom in the show and she's as amazing as she damn well should be. Maybe that will help.

Shadow making frozen fractals... H-runes everywhere...

Wanted to post fav quotes but forgot them. Must rewatch.

**with a brief moment of "ok, but lube?!?"

**Marvel Loki and Thor could come too, I guess? A bunch of Itempas's kids?

***partly inspired/informed by this article: https://mic.com/articles/175489/american-gods-reinvents-itself-through-its-black-protagonist#.AifPqB4jg
lonespark: (Default)
2017-05-04 12:13 pm

Everyone is doing it

Everyone has been talking about this post by The Oatmeal about core beliefs:


It's good, if you haven't read it go for it, probably

(CN for slavery & some implied related medical stuff maybe, briefly mentioned early on)

Books love pictures,
and data loves graphics,
and concepts and ideas love pictures and colors and characters, etc.
so anytime people do this kind of thing I'm for it.

People do it with videos, too, which is fine by me if it's captioned b/c sound + picture doesn't sync up right for my brain for most of that stuff.
(Or for lots of stuff, like, driving. Boo.)

The main thing I don't like is the title, I guess. I'm sure the author could have found stuff I wasn't going to believe, or at least didn't already know, but this wasn't it. (I did get a "Ew, ugh, I forgot about ALL the ways GW was horrible regarding slaves!" strong reaction...)

And I've also spent a lot of time on parts of the internet where people have thoughtful discussions in good faith and make friends, which of course makes it hurt more when fights get out of hand and trolls wreck shit. I mostly avoid other parts for solid mental health reasons. And a lot of my human interaction takes place online. Too much, probably, (by proportion - not too much online, but not enough offline currently...) but all of that is complicated.

And it makes a lot of sense that possible threats to our sense of self and perception of society, etc. would be so horribly dangerous. That complexity of relationships and the need to navigate them is a huge part of what makes us human and what we use language for, and maybe a lot of our cognition in general.

Kids tho. Kids are super good and amazing at learning and change. They aren't necessarily good at recognizing emotional and impulsive reactions, but they can learn and practice. So when you spend time around kids, and people learning stuff or experiencing new stuff in general, it can help remind you about that kind of listening/thinking/sharing.
lonespark: (Default)
2017-04-15 01:05 am

Queer country for 90s kids?

You guys I was reading this article and I found out that Ty Herndon is gay and now I have "What Matters Most" stuck in my head...

And also I was reminded about how I used to ship Craig Morgan Dad from the "Every Friday Afternoon" video with Collin Raye Cop Dad from the "I Think About You" video and I think I wrote a ficlet about it that I believe involved someone doing a karaoke version of "Stand By Your Man?"

I was definitely working on a long original fic about a closeted singer-songwriter dude and there was unrequited pining and disgrace and drinking and awards-show shenanigans and eventually finding love with a bull rider... That was actually kind of good and I wish I knew where the paper notes from circa 2003 are now.

Same article informed me that Chely Wright was dating Brad Paisley for pretendsies and reminded me how much fun it is when Dolly Parton and Melissa Etheridge hang out and I could file a few numbers off and ship that, too...
lonespark: Cassidy from "Far Beyond the Stars" (Cassidy Yates)
2017-04-04 01:20 pm

The Neverending Quest for Peak White Nonsense


I think this is a good article in general but it's long so I haven't finished it yet but the first few paragraphs are full of hard-hitting truths that are funny as hell.

"If history has taught me anything, it’s that there’s nothing more disappointing or dangerous than a room full of white people."

Is there anything truer than that? I submit not.

We have been elevating the art of the Really Bad Idea to new heights ever since we were first invented.

(And, like, I guess you could say it could be truer if it's more specific? Christian-Capitalist-Heteronormative white people? But all of that seems redundant since Whiteness and White supremacy are inextricably bound up with all those oppressive assumptions and worldviews.)

(Also I forgot that Independence Day thing happened. So often we are breathtakingly, epicly clumsy and ludicrous in our hubristic self-assurance. On the rare occasion when it's not killing and torturing people it's plain funny. )

(When it is folks need to laugh anyway. We are ALWAYS killing people for not taking us seriously, because apparently we don't learn that means you lose forever.)

(Also I did not know that about SURJ. For some reason I thought it was like, the BLM White Folks Auxiliary, or something? I don't claim to be work but I TRY not to be a blundering fool on a regular basis. Ooops. And I think people explained it to me when, like they said not to buy signs from them but I didn't totally get it...)
lonespark: (Default)
2017-04-04 07:23 am

School, Grrr!!!

School to my older kid:
Why can't you sit still?!? There's something wrong with you! You're a bad student! You want to do more science? Our interpretation of Common Core says that's not important! Also your math and ELA skills can only be demonstrated by filling in these specific worksheets and reading charts and reading these very specific types of books.

School to my younger kid:
We have these different interesting chairs. And it totally counts if you have other people read to you or listen to audiobooks. And we don't just have science; we're doing engineering too! Hands on!

So a lot of what I applaud the school doing makes me sad/mad all over again on behalf of my dear, brilliant, older child.

Plus they won't stop using the word "grit" in their newsletter. It's like the even more condescending version of misapplied notions of "resilience" in the social work world.
lonespark: (Default)
2017-04-02 09:23 pm

Sensory room


Like this is really nice but I hate the thing about "Maybe every other room in the school will still be a soul-destroying sensory desert, where behavior expectations are unreasonable, but if you act out enough and your legal guardians know the magic words, u can escape sometimes..."
lonespark: (Default)
2017-04-01 04:40 pm

Grrrr! Cont'd

If you are starting from a point of
"We want to welcome everyone"
and someone points out
that there is extra stuff you need to do
to actively welcome
people who can't pay a "suggested donation"
people who can't pay for food
or may not be able to eat outside the meeting time
or are out of foodstamps for the month
people who can't meet your "suggested dress code" for reasons of poverty or sensory issues or religion or etc.
people who need childcare
people who need childcare for children you consider to have unreasonably "special" needs
people who need childcare for sick children
people who can't read
people who can't read English
people who can read Braille
people who can't stand for prolonged periods
people who can't sit still for long
people for whom social interaction or verbal communication is difficult or impossible
etc. OMFG

rethink your goals
rethink your f***ing budget priorities
and for the sake of anything holy

don't condescendingly claim that you ARE being welcoming to everyone and it's their fault and if they cared enough about the issue or the group they would just suck it up

don't you fucking dare

Your budget isn't unlimited
Your effort isn't unlimited

Ok, fine.
If you can't fucking PRIORITZE
What is the point of you?!?